Friday, October 14, 2011
Simplistic Love
The simplistic nature of our love is not as easily expressed. What is a definition, but binding guidelines to which hold strong a meaning that couldn't possible represent its depths. I fear summing up into too small a fish bowl, here is my love, feed it flakes and it will grow. Not Nearly!! My love is boundless, limitless, growing and ever changing. Nowhere near the oceans tide which banes the spoiled fruits of a misguided heart then pulls the toils back into it with a ravenous hunger. Nor the blessed rain which can both create and wash away lamented sympathies and memories squandered on the most unseemly of visions. Alas, the closest comparison to our love is the enigmatic forest. Bound and controlled by nothing. It flourishes wild and free. From a distant hilltop the forest radiates simplistically designed beauty and a fortress to those who call its foliage home. But upon closer examination of its intricacies it is easily seen that simplistic is far from the depths of the labyrinthine of life on top of life.
Monday, September 26, 2011
An Unprepared for Rant
I feel a restlessness in my bones, clawing its way from my skin. I want to transplant to higher standings, but left on the lowly rungs of the forgotten societal classes. I find myself pacing here and there with nowhere to go. Who holds me here, keeps me depths below my own surface? A surface left boiling from the fumes my eager mind creates. Teach me! I want it all!
Fractured and tangled my thoughts like malicious little imps, run rampant through my brain. My self-storage for " I cants", " I wants" , impurities I had no control over. They were disclosed to me, I did not put these in my mind. A community designed to cast out the less submissive children. Punished unjustly for actions taught to us by weaker minds.
Perhaps instead of continual scolding and isolation punishment, something we've only ever known, you should embrace us, show us love, faith, and kindness. How dare you discipline us for actions that make up all I know? Teach me! Show me more. I want that life of beauty, serenity, calm minds, and warm hearts.
My dreams and ambitions tumble over and over so quickly, it is near impossible to grasp one. To hold onto one hope, I cannot. There again, they are the I cants, the perpetual doubting myself or the existence of my own necessity. My fears and doubts dangle so elegantly in my face, a continual slap to the brain. YOU ARE NOT CAPABLE!
My brain is on overload, I feel a shift in the midst. An out pour is due at any moment. What will prevail, what will remain when it all spills? Will my fears, I cants, I wants, my doubts remain subsided in the crevices of my memories? Caking the putrid walls of my past with the constant reminder that I cannot hide who I was, am, and what has been done.
Fractured and tangled my thoughts like malicious little imps, run rampant through my brain. My self-storage for " I cants", " I wants" , impurities I had no control over. They were disclosed to me, I did not put these in my mind. A community designed to cast out the less submissive children. Punished unjustly for actions taught to us by weaker minds.
Perhaps instead of continual scolding and isolation punishment, something we've only ever known, you should embrace us, show us love, faith, and kindness. How dare you discipline us for actions that make up all I know? Teach me! Show me more. I want that life of beauty, serenity, calm minds, and warm hearts.
My dreams and ambitions tumble over and over so quickly, it is near impossible to grasp one. To hold onto one hope, I cannot. There again, they are the I cants, the perpetual doubting myself or the existence of my own necessity. My fears and doubts dangle so elegantly in my face, a continual slap to the brain. YOU ARE NOT CAPABLE!
My brain is on overload, I feel a shift in the midst. An out pour is due at any moment. What will prevail, what will remain when it all spills? Will my fears, I cants, I wants, my doubts remain subsided in the crevices of my memories? Caking the putrid walls of my past with the constant reminder that I cannot hide who I was, am, and what has been done.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Behind Every Good Man, Stands a Bunch of Idiots
Hello bloggers far and wide. I hope my futile attempts at building something others would enjoy to read reaches someone, somewhere. If one person finds strength, humor, a new opinion, the ability to stand up for themselves, or simply finds a way to waste time by reading my words, I will feel accomplished. I am certain my first few publications will be trial and error till I am comfortable with formatting, so please bare with me.
Behind Every Good Man, Stands A Bunch Of Idiots
Right away I am sure everyone jumps to the old saying, " Behind every good man, stands a good woman." That however, is not what I will be touching on today. At my full time job, we have quite the cast of people working here. Any job I worked before, it was always the customer who was gossiped about wether for being strange, funny looking, a jerk, an idiot, a time waster....every job field has pegged these people out. At this time the most interesting people I have to talk about IS my coworkers. A gentleman that I work with ( and I use the term gentleman lightly, I was always told to respect my elders, so heres all the respect he gets) has taken it a upon himself to be father, mentor, delegator, and the most obnoxious micromanager to anyone and everyone that we work with. I took a considerable liking to this guy when I started, his physical features and appearingly generous nature reminded me deeply of my godfather who passed away a few years ago. Right away I was sweet and eager to learn everything he had to say about the "biz" , at first I thought that he was great. I was poorly mistaken. When the day came I no longer needed or wanted coaching from him it became undeniably clear that it was of no concern to him. Infact his generosity to pass on his knowledge has become so overbaring at times, I began to wonder if his sincerity was even genuine. Does he really think everyone is that stupid? That we all need a physical display of how to use a photocopier or do a search on google? Yes, all things he has forcibly shown me by hand, and NO I never asked for help with any of these things, nor would I have needed it. But those events are miniscule at best when I started to learn more about him. This kind old man with a slight hump, liver spots, purtruding belly, and receding hairline has said some of the cruelsest things. Not that I havent heard hatred and biggotry before, but I was completely thrown aback when these words began coming out of his mouth.
-SIDENOTE: I may use some terms to follow that you may not agree with, I only hope you understand my point, wether you accept it or not. I am by all means a white girl, yes I know it is not the actual color "white" that is in my skin but it is relevent when I refer to a darker skined person as "black" I by no means intend to offend anyone. but hear me out. I am an Italian girl, my father was born there, I dont walk around asking to be called an "Italian American" neither does my father who 100% has the right to. So In this sense I dont agree with using the term " African American" especially since I have never met a man from Africa. I have dated, befriended and idolized many black people and when I explained my theory to them, YES TO THEM, I recieved almost the exact same response followed by a smile " You crazy white girl". I am not racist, I hate everyone equally :)
So the gentleman in question had a customer come in and ask for him while he was not present, I let him know I would pass along the message. Shortly there after the gentleman came back, as I was in the midst of explaining to him that a black guy had come looking for him, the black guy came out of nowhere. The gentleman than proceeds to look over at the black guy and say " What she shove you to the back of the bus?", this was followed by a snicker. Now the black guy took no obvious offense to this remark, but I on the otherhand was dumbfounded at his absolutly disrespectful remark. Since then his opinions have continued to flow into my ears like torpedos. Earlier today while asking me to contact another guy for him he was explaining his complications with reaching the guy. According to him, all black people are time wasters and not serious about purchasing. Silly of me to do but I pressed him further as to why he felt like this. He continued to tell me, " just ask any server they will tell you, black people and mexicans are bad tippers too." The cruel and ruthfullness continued to spout from his mouth. How someone can work in customer service and flourish with ideals like this, is completely beyond me. I havent even touched on the crazy homophobic remarks he makes with a smile. I dont believe he has any idea that the things he says are wrong. It has taken every ounce of strength I have not to come to him with the statistics of theis wonderful melting pot that we live in. I have seen evil, and I know it crosses all colors, races, genders, and beliefs. There are haters everywhere. So what do we do? Everyone I know says, "Oh dont mind him he is just old, doesnt know what he is talking about" , yet somehow he holds their respect otherwise why would they stand up for him? I would love to hear everyone else's opinions on this, or relatable stories so please, share with me.
I hope you enjoyed this first of hopefully many rants to come. If it is too controversial for you maybe you should ask yourself this question before you read my next blog. " To read or not read?" Have a good night all.
Behind Every Good Man, Stands A Bunch Of Idiots
Right away I am sure everyone jumps to the old saying, " Behind every good man, stands a good woman." That however, is not what I will be touching on today. At my full time job, we have quite the cast of people working here. Any job I worked before, it was always the customer who was gossiped about wether for being strange, funny looking, a jerk, an idiot, a time waster....every job field has pegged these people out. At this time the most interesting people I have to talk about IS my coworkers. A gentleman that I work with ( and I use the term gentleman lightly, I was always told to respect my elders, so heres all the respect he gets) has taken it a upon himself to be father, mentor, delegator, and the most obnoxious micromanager to anyone and everyone that we work with. I took a considerable liking to this guy when I started, his physical features and appearingly generous nature reminded me deeply of my godfather who passed away a few years ago. Right away I was sweet and eager to learn everything he had to say about the "biz" , at first I thought that he was great. I was poorly mistaken. When the day came I no longer needed or wanted coaching from him it became undeniably clear that it was of no concern to him. Infact his generosity to pass on his knowledge has become so overbaring at times, I began to wonder if his sincerity was even genuine. Does he really think everyone is that stupid? That we all need a physical display of how to use a photocopier or do a search on google? Yes, all things he has forcibly shown me by hand, and NO I never asked for help with any of these things, nor would I have needed it. But those events are miniscule at best when I started to learn more about him. This kind old man with a slight hump, liver spots, purtruding belly, and receding hairline has said some of the cruelsest things. Not that I havent heard hatred and biggotry before, but I was completely thrown aback when these words began coming out of his mouth.
-SIDENOTE: I may use some terms to follow that you may not agree with, I only hope you understand my point, wether you accept it or not. I am by all means a white girl, yes I know it is not the actual color "white" that is in my skin but it is relevent when I refer to a darker skined person as "black" I by no means intend to offend anyone. but hear me out. I am an Italian girl, my father was born there, I dont walk around asking to be called an "Italian American" neither does my father who 100% has the right to. So In this sense I dont agree with using the term " African American" especially since I have never met a man from Africa. I have dated, befriended and idolized many black people and when I explained my theory to them, YES TO THEM, I recieved almost the exact same response followed by a smile " You crazy white girl". I am not racist, I hate everyone equally :)
So the gentleman in question had a customer come in and ask for him while he was not present, I let him know I would pass along the message. Shortly there after the gentleman came back, as I was in the midst of explaining to him that a black guy had come looking for him, the black guy came out of nowhere. The gentleman than proceeds to look over at the black guy and say " What she shove you to the back of the bus?", this was followed by a snicker. Now the black guy took no obvious offense to this remark, but I on the otherhand was dumbfounded at his absolutly disrespectful remark. Since then his opinions have continued to flow into my ears like torpedos. Earlier today while asking me to contact another guy for him he was explaining his complications with reaching the guy. According to him, all black people are time wasters and not serious about purchasing. Silly of me to do but I pressed him further as to why he felt like this. He continued to tell me, " just ask any server they will tell you, black people and mexicans are bad tippers too." The cruel and ruthfullness continued to spout from his mouth. How someone can work in customer service and flourish with ideals like this, is completely beyond me. I havent even touched on the crazy homophobic remarks he makes with a smile. I dont believe he has any idea that the things he says are wrong. It has taken every ounce of strength I have not to come to him with the statistics of theis wonderful melting pot that we live in. I have seen evil, and I know it crosses all colors, races, genders, and beliefs. There are haters everywhere. So what do we do? Everyone I know says, "Oh dont mind him he is just old, doesnt know what he is talking about" , yet somehow he holds their respect otherwise why would they stand up for him? I would love to hear everyone else's opinions on this, or relatable stories so please, share with me.
I hope you enjoyed this first of hopefully many rants to come. If it is too controversial for you maybe you should ask yourself this question before you read my next blog. " To read or not read?" Have a good night all.
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